sexual evil - We're all slaves to our urges - some just more than others. Sure, you probably shake it a little to get your way, but you don't beat yourself up over it (unless you're into that, of course). For your own sake, realize that getting hurt sexually generally stings more than being burnt with your clothes on. So even if your pillow pal has a mean set of love handles, keep it to yourself. Just listen to that little voice in your head (no, not that one), and the evil sex thing will stop.
passive/agressive - Yes, you're always smiling, but you hold grudges for years, repress your anger, and then blow up in conniving ways - you've got "postal worker" written all over you. If you want to stop the migraines, look into anger-management classes at the local Y. Passive-aggressive people are often very sympathetic, which is why they hide their anger. So take solace in knowing you're still coming off as kind-hearted, you sneaky, two-faced back-stabber.
black-hearted - Ooo hoo - you're one evil muther. Your heart is blacker than Darth Vader's helmet. For goodness' sake, next time think about that old lady's feelings before you push her down the escalator. And, really you know as well as anyone that dropping kitties out the window to see if they can land on their feet is just an excuse to act evil. Yes, it's all part of being a free spirit who doesn't answer to anyone. Right or wrong, it's a fun way to live. But be careful - it all comes full-circle in the end.
damn. that was harsh.
