Generation Y's Howard Beale (dk) wrote,
Generation Y's Howard Beale
dk

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daily : random



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Free personality analysis from ColorQuiz.com.
Generated on Wed Feb 27 13:21:34 2002.

Your Existing Situation
Needs peace and quiet. Desires a close and faithful partner from whom to demand special consideration and unquestioning affection. If these requirements are not met, is liable to turn away and withdraw altogether.

Your Stress Sources
The existing situation is disagreeable. Has an unsatisfied need to ally himself with others whose standards are as high as his own, and to stand out from the rank and file. His control of his sensual instincts restricts his ability to give himself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and allow himself to merge with another. This disturbs him, as such instincts are regarded as weaknesses to be overcome; he feels that only by continued self-restraint can he hope to maintain his attitude of individual superiority. Wants to be loved or admired for himself alone; needs attention, recognition, and the esteem of others.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Feels that he is receiving less than his share and that there is no one on who he can rely for sympathy and understanding. Pent-up emotions make him quick to take offense, but he realizes that he has to make the best of things as they are.
Becomes distressed when his needs or desires are misunderstood and feels that he has no one to turn to or rely on. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.

Your Desired Objective
Tries to escape from his problems, difficulties, and tensions by abrupt, headstrong, and ill-considered decisions or changes of direction.

Your Actual Problem
Feels insufficiently valued in his existing situation, and is seeking different conditions in which he will have greater opportunity of demonstrating his worth.

Your Actual Problem #2
The fear that he may be prevented from achieving the things he wants leads him into a relentless search for satisfaction in the pursuit of illusory or meaningless activities.

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court date results: $270 fine, payable $35/mo, and 3 days of community service. could have been worse.

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got an email from dad a few weeks ago.

still haven't answered it; don't think i'm going to.

i've been better able to put into words why i hold such bitterness towards him; there were many times when he punished me for something in the name of "teaching me how the world works", but in retrospect, it seems very strongly that this punishment was meted out when it was convenient or profitable for him.

i suppose that's because every "lesson" i got from him was fucking useless.

i'll admit that my invalidating attitude towards him may prevent me from seeing what he was trying to teach, but after years of analysis i'm still unable to find anything resembling even "good intentions".

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wrote mom today about thinking of moving to phoenix. she's offered me part in a contract she *may* have landed doing .NET development work with microsoft. if i can swing that as a work-from-home deal from arizona, that'll just kick some ass.

update: nope, she'd need me to move back to norcal (sacramento/davis). well, i'll wait and see what develops there, i guess.

i know she's doing this to help but for some reason it makes me wary. on some level i want to avoid even the opportunity to disappoint her again.

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i shouldn't even be thinking about any of this right now. i'm too tired and stressed.
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