so it's funny that i was thinking about starting reading my copy of the satanic bible again last night.
(before you get into a tizzy and think i'm a devil-worshipper, satanism is the belief in oneself as the only possible diety. i took interest in this a couple years back, and on some literal level i'm still waiting to be shown otherwise. if you're not already used to this sort of arrogance from me, you apparently haven't been reading my journal for very long.)
today started out very well- woke up early, had that same great state of mind i'd had all weekend going, managed to get myself into the office at roughly the same time as everyone else, and heard that the first (previously referenced) CorporateLand meeting went as well as could be expected. it's nice when you have a strong feeling that an event is going to go a certain way, and are shown to be correct.
at about 2, i learned that i've apparently managed to piss off someone again. i wish i knew how. the lack of communication from this person occupied my mind fairly completely for about 20 minutes, until i recieved an IM from my roommate letting me know that plainclothes cops had showed up at the house because of that unresolved court date in december.
i get the phone number and call the officer (Jared)'s desk, to find out if there's any way this can be resolved that doesn't involve incarceration- he's with the santa clara county sherriff's office, and the vibe i get from him is a pretty direct "no". he asks me to wait around for a half-hour and says he'd call me back-
which was pretty transparent, so i ask "why, so you can send some officers over to pick me up"?
response: "... no."
at this point i realize my office is probably not a good place to be, as even if i hadn't told him where it was, he could presumably know the location my phone call originated from; so i take control of the conversation and tell him i'm going to go to the courthouse and attempt to set a new court date, and that if i *didn't* call him back he could assume i'd been taken into custody there.
so i hoof it back to the light rail station near my office as fast as possible, and see the train approaching as i round the corner of lawrence and tasman. something tells me to run at this point, so i sprint towards the platform, and am still roughly 30 yards away when i saw the doors close- Inner Voice tells me i *have* to be on that thing-
i have already crossed over from sidewalk to median at this point and and i *know* i am seen- you don't miss a 6'4" guy running at full tilt and waving his arms like a madman. i could see that the bastard train operator was going to take off without me anyway, so i hopped over the decorative plantlife on the edge of the median and continued running directly down the tracks towards the train, which had only just begun moving again.
you should have seen that guy's jaw drop.
i guess he figures i am serious at this point, because he shook his head at me disbelievingly, stopped the train, and opens the front door to let me in. (i thank him loudly as i pass his window.) transfer at baypointe, exit at the civic center station, and there's a santa clara county sherriff's car waiting at the bus stop near said station. he looks at me, gets out of his car, and the voice in my head says "he who hesitates is lost"- so i walk quickly across to the opposite side of first and continue down towards hedding (where the courthouse is), hoping i didn't hear him yell at me. i didn't.
i consider swinging by a bail bondsman to see if i should make any arrangements for safety before i am to beard the lion in its den, but decide against it.
3:55pm and i'm walking into the offices of the court clerks, noting with no small amount of interest that they close at 4pm. the court clerks can only give you a new court date once-
so what saved my ass here is that when i was going to set the new court date *last* time, i forgot my helmet while scootering over, and was pulled by a santa clara sherriff, who was a nice guy and was cool enough to give me a new appearance date on the spot, saving me the trip to the courthouse.
the court clerk is still wary of giving me a new date, but i manage to sweet-talk her into it (wasn't too hard, she was kinda cute). i leave the clerk's office and they literally shut the doors behind me.
there's a payphone directly in line-of-sight from there, so i grab the post-it that i wrote Jared's number on and call him back. apparently cute clerk closed down her terminal without fully entering all the data, because my warrant still shows as active in "the system"- so Jared thinks i'm feeding him a line, and i'm getting panicky in a building full of cops, even though i have the paperwork for the new appearance date in my hand.
desperate at this point, and (as you've read) having gone through no small amount of trouble to do this crap The Right Way, i ask him what the hell i have to do to prove this to him- apparently he was chummy with one of the deputies at the front desk, as he directed me to give my paperwork to one of them and have them call him in order to verify my story.
ok- so back to the lobby- and as i get the guy's attention and hand him the paperwork, i realize that if there's a f***up somewhere i'm going to jail after all, because this guy *is* a deputy of the sherriff's department; so anxiety was still running strong at this point- but the deputy in front of me lazily hangs up the phone, gives me an odd look, hands me my papers and waves me towards the door.
_huge sigh of relief_ at that point.
i *wish* i was making this shit up.
i *still* can't believe i was lucky enough to pull it off; had *any* element of that situation (past *or* present) not worked out the way it did, i'd be nervously waiting for an unmarked car to pull up in front of my house again.
glad i'm a free person though.